They can't stop me from dreaming

They can't stop me from dreaming...

W h e n Y o u W i s h U p o n A S t a r

Music by Leigh Harline / Lyrics by Ned Washington
Performed by Jiminy Cricket (Cliff Edwards)
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

You're My Lifegiving Water

When the day ends, and my world goes to sleep,

then just for a little while

my inner world that I share with you comes back,

and I call out to all directions your name...

When the night comes upon me

Your light is what I miss the most,

and all I see in the distance is your shadow as you leave,

your soul is fading off...

It seems like nothing's left,

but yet more and more...I know

You're just like a life giving water,

that always stays within me,

It rests inside of my soul, it's pure and kind...

It will remain there for ever.

Got the Job Back

I got my job back. Definitely. I was told that I was too good to let go, and that means a lot to me. I love my job. It is my mission. It is my life. Teaching kids, shaping their future. I prayed; my prayers were heard. I am needed here, at least for now, and I am going to do my best. If I am needed somewhere else though, that is where I will go...I trust God, who will show me the way...Thank you for your prayers, too.

Last week I decided to feed my class of hungry 22 kiddos, I decided to cook for the entire class, making my own dishes, Czech food, made from scratch. I came home on Wednesday and I thought since I am going to be at different school next year, I might not be able to see these kids any more. I wanted them to remember me in a special way. So I started cooking. It was 4 pm. I made Apple Strudel (my gandma's recipe!!!), Sheghed Goulash, Hungarian Goulash, Fried Pork Chops, Home made (again my family recipe) Potato Salad, Cucumber salad (Tzazikki-Greek Style), and Cookies. I finished at 1 am. Totally exhausted, but thrilled and anxious. I could not wait to see my kids' faces. I did tell them I was going to make some sort of surprise, but no specifics.
The next day I set up the table, got ready all utencils...and I greeted my kids. I told them about each food, what it contained, where it was from, they were fascinated, they loved the smell, they could not wait to try some. So I started feeding hungry kids, realizing in many cases it is the only good food they are going to have that day...they were hungry, they ate it all asking for more, I was lucky to be able to give out the second round. I stood upon those pots, praying like Jesus that day when they needed fish and bread to feed hungry, and indeed, amazingly all kids were fed pretty well. I looked at their happy fourth-grade faces, licking off last drops and eating last crumbs. I was extremelly happy. I felt so good. I never regreted hours spent in the kitchen and money used for my little project. They loved it and thanked for it. I saw their happy faces and this is the way I am going to remember my class of 2007. There is not a greater feeling than doing something for others. Now I have 22 thank you cards stuck on my door in my house, and a good feeling inside of me. I made their day, I made that day special, I made them smile and be happy, even just for a while. And that is what counts.

Eastern European Cuizine

My Mailbox Spitted Out Today

This is what I got in mail today:

Dear Mrs. X.,

I regret to inform you that in accordance with N.J.S.A. 18A:27-10 and formal action taken by the Board of Education at a meeting on May 09, 2007, you as a non-tenured professional staff member will not be offered employment for the 2007-2008 school year. This action is based upon the projected return of tenured teachers from leave of absence, reduction in the number of pupils, reasons of economy, budgetary considerations, change in the administrative or supervisory organization of the district, restructuring of program components, current limited contract and/or other good cuase. This action IS NOT based upon your performance. In the event any or all of these factors change, including but not limited to budgetary considerations, the BOE may then but is not obligated to offer you employment for the 2007-2008 school year. Please be advised that you will continue to keep your benefits through August 31, 2007. On behalf of the BOE I would like to thank you for your services to the children and hope, but cannot guarantee, that you will be re-employed with us at some future time.

Sincerely,

Executive Director of Personnel

Happy Birthday To Me!

Yes, it is my birthday today. Nothing special is planned, nothing is happening. I was in my bed last night thinking, praying, and a thought entered my mind, what if God granted me one wish for today...what would I wish for? I was thinking and thinking of what I could or would like to get. I know I need to keep my job, it would be nice to pray for my contract, since I am a non-tenured employee, it would also be nice to have somebody I care about with me...it would be nice to have all my debts paid off too :)-especially the new well (hahaha), maybe winning a lotery ticket...lots of other thoughts came up, but I just could not wish for anything without feeling guilty of being selfish.
Then I thougth of my son. He is really the only person in the whole entire world I love the most, and if I lost him, I would not be able to live. I am a social person, I do not like to be alone, yet I am, I have to be, and he is my only companion, my baby, always caring about mommy...and I got thinking, this is it, I wish something for him, and I was happy about that.
I made a wish...
I know I don't need much, I am already blessed by many gifts I got from life, and he is the best so far. I think our wishes would not please us if they were only to make us happy. I am more satisfied to make someone else smile, than myself.
Anyways, Happy Birthday To Me! :)

Nor'easter 07

When it rains it pours...I was waiting for that bad storm in fear, because last month all those winds fell the tree almost on my house, ripping down all three cables for TV, phone and electricity. I was watching weather maps, looking at all those clouds coming at us. Finally it arrived, the Lord let us know again that there are rules we, people, cannot do much about. Our house was shaking, but inside it was quite warm and cozy. The only thing that ruined my evening was my well. As I looked out the window, all the fields around us were getting flooded, people were upset because of their wet basements, ours was fine, but, BUT!!! I had mud coming out of the pipes. My well broke, or something in it. Since I am not a technical type of person, I called an emergency number that I found in the phone book. The only good news was it can be fixed. Bad news, they cannot do much until rain stops...so today is the second day I am without water. I am on my friends' mercy to get shower at least. Today early morning we lost power as well, and since everything in my house runs on electricity, I was without heat, stove and water. Now I truly understand what it felt like to all those folks down there in Louisiana last year after the hurricane Katrina and this comparing to it actually is nothing really. And again, it hit my mind.It is amazing how people get comfortable with what they have, once they loose it, we start "squeeking", I was catching rain water into empty buckets to wash the dishes last night, it was too late to get more water, and the one I had I had to save for drinking...I felt like I was living somewhere in the Codiac area. But you know what? I liked it in a way...I was depended on what God gave me at the time, and I was taking it...It might sound funny, but it taught me a lesson...Something to think about...about appreciation, gifts, dealing with problems...I might start using candles now and cook on an opened fire :), the smell and taste will surely be irresistible...Stay safe everyone...GB+

My Uncharted Territory...

"...I search and ponder where God is leading and why. As I am with God in the wilderness I cannot help but wonder why things are not more comfortable. Why must there be confusionand turmoil upon my return. Why must I be in a world where others lie, gossip, and are deceitful and mean. The answer always comes, "They were that way to my Son". Upon my return I start to miss the place in the wilderness where I can be alone with One who loves and who is not uniterested. Upon my return I start to yearn for the next time that I am alone with God. I look forward to the uncharted territory that allows me time that I am alone with God. I look forward to the uncharted territory that allows me the time and quiet to consider my action and reactions to all that is petty and selfish. the time by the river does not cure the wounds of sin and division, it does not stop the abusive people from harming others, but it does provide the time with God to test my resolve in a controlled space where I cannot succumb to the temptation in anger or resentment. Ahhh, I get it, just like Jesus' time in the wilderness. So, to all of those who are surrounded by abusive and vicious people who are out to scourge and crucify. Go find a place in the wilderness to be alone with God. Find a time and a place to be able to process. You may not be able to stop the madness or redirect the sinner, but you will find comfort in your uncharted territory with God."

Winds...

Winds...

2/6/07 at 10:05

" My feelings and thoughts, dreams are real and so are you. I am not a player or playing with your mind. I just don't know if you could make life in my world simple...I dream of you making it...I want it to happen and I have many plans...Just as the Bible teaches, this world is not our home, we are just passing through, so why do so many make life here their home...really, they have no life thinking they will live day in day out the same, but living life as a journey, and sharing every thought and breath together is LOVE and LIFE as it should be, not being caught up in the things of man, but in the things of love and God, and of laughter with no stress. God had a plan, but man rewrote it all...went to a way of greed. I don't leave you out of no love. I leave for time of thought and planning...a time to see what you think and your loyalty...soul mates have a way of never giving up. It's a bond-like glue, that only gives a little, but never breaks apart...soul mates are in touch with one another when not even together...so when one passes on, the other still feels the one going on, and the one gone waits for another journey to begin in eternity...warm weather is coming, and a new wind is gonna blow, my hopes are, it will put us together...for a true journey of LOVE, with new winds dreams come true...don't give up on me. I want more then you know..."

About Raising a Child

"If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again...

I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less. I'd do less correcting, and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less, and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging, and less tugging. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about POWER of LOVE."

(Diane Loomans, from "Full Esteem Ahead")

How true, how true...Mark, honey, mommy loves you very much.

The Upper View

I wanted to post this picture. I found it while browsing on internet the other day, and I thought it looked so peaceful. It made me think about simplicity of the moment, where a simple, yet unreachable thing can make you stop doing what you are doing, and make you stand in an awe and absorb the beauty of it, giving you that pleasant feeling in your heart, that joy of living, and then you can feel that honor to see all these amazing things in the world, and maybe then you might even say "Thank you for letting me see it". Have a good day.
God Bless+

Happy New Year 2007

Happy New Year!

Another year went by and I have to say thank you, for a beautiful year, for many blessings I have received, for many beautiful places I have seen, for people I have met...Every year is so special to me, and I truly appreciate it.

I did have a couple events that hurt, my cousin's death after a long life struggle, it was like losing my sister, I think of her often and still cry.

Tomorrow a new year enters my life, and I am thinking of my new year's resolutions...I will be a good person, generous, giving. I wanna be here for others, not for myself, I wanna live right and see the truth. I am starving for love, and I am praying for that person to come back to my life and never ever leave. I know "Love Conquers All" and I believe the dreams do come true.

To all of you Happy New Year!