There are times in our lives when we just wish we could take ourselves and bring us back in time in order to avoid the inevitable, a mistake, a failure, or an embarrassing situation. I used to wish that as well. Recently, however, I discovered that I actually do not want to go back and re-live the moment for the simple reason: I would miss an opportunity to learn the lesson.
You see lessons are important. They are a part of our life. They start the very moment we are born and they never end. I used to laugh at my teacher stating "You will be learners all your lives." Back then I had obviously no clue what she meant. I do now, and it did not take 6 years in a university to figure that one out.
Lessons were taught by Jesus through parables, and most of them are still a tough one to understand, or grasp by many of His followers, including myself. I try to pay a close attention to all Sunday School classes, and to everything that is said during the service, yet, I myself struggle. I fall. I am brought down in shame. I learn from people around me, and I am very much disgusted with myself. The pride I have in me, the idea of being so good = such a good person, vanishes instantly in the moment I learn my lesson.
I learned my bitter lesson this past Friday. And I am very much ashamed of myself again. I am so much disappointed in myself that I have no clue how to undo this. I thought of the time and if it would be any good to move back and fix things, but no.In this case, I needed my lesson. I needed to be reminded that it is not only me who has issues; it is not only me who struggles; it is not only me who is down...there are many others in much worse situation, and I was just being a spoiled and whiny about something unessential...I needed my attention.
Now, sitting here, in loneliness of the night, I realize how foolish people get, and yes, now it pertains to me especially. How foolish of us, discontent, complaining and non-stop dissatisfied people. We are daily missing so much on how wonderful things are around us. We are missing on each second of our lives, not noticing the simple beauties of our surroundings that God has given us. On little details, such as a gust of fresh spring air on our faces, star struck sky at night, the fact we got up again this morning, a sweet taste of pear or a divine sound of music...we are fools to complain if we are healthy, if we have food on our plates every day, if we have a bed to rest in safely at night.
So I am here, pledging, I love my lessons, and I do not want to take the time back. I messed up, and past cannot be undone, nevertheless, I am given a chance to do it right next time.
